The False Allure of Shiny Things
We are all naturally drawn to shiny things. When I refer to shiny things I do not just mean things that sparkle like diamonds and ruby’s, or glow like gold, platinum or chrome or even things that reflect the sun. I mean everything that sparks an immediate desire to possess it, like a Lamborghini, the new iPad, a big house, Prada shoes, a G650 airplane, a sculpted body (yours or someone else’s) or that big screen TV in Cowboys Stadium.
The problem with shiny things is that they are full of promise, but that promise is often left unfulfilled and always has hidden costs. An accountant would point out that all the things I mentioned in the last sentence of the previous paragraph (with the exception of the big house) are depreciating assets; meaning their value drops from the moment you purchase them. I on the other hand, would argue that the larger costs are related to the loss of your quality of life.
Once you buy the Lamborghini you begin to live the Lamborghini lifestyle and it often becomes a treadmill that is difficult to slowdown or get off of. You are constantly searching for the next shiny thing to give you that big adrenaline rush you have learned to crave, repeatedly falling victim to the letdown that inevitably follows. You lose sight of the fact that happiness comes not from the value of the things you have, but from the value you feel inside that comes from what you do for others, not yourself.
We as a society are obsessed with striving for more (money, success, possessions, status) when what we really need more of is self-worth. We delude ourselves into thinking that having nice things will make us have better lives and feel happier, when in fact they erode our enjoyment of life by draining not only the amount of time available to us, but also the quality of the time we have left to spend with our friends and family.
Imagine you are hiking and lost in the wild and have not eaten for a few days. Suddenly you come across some other hikers who feed you and fill you up on some canned beans and a couple of peanut butter sandwiches. Chances are you would not only be thrilled, but also filled with appreciation and satisfaction. The value is in the other’s kindness and the nourishment your body was craving, not the quality of the meal itself.
The meal would be no more appreciated if it was Filet Mignon or if there was an endless supply of food. Yet we are constantly looking for shiny things and more wealth. The truth is, once you reach a comfortable income level, additional money is more likely to cause less happiness rather than more. The true secret to happiness is having enough, not the popular illusion of abundance equaling happiness.
The happiest billionaires I know live far below their means and shun attention. One still uses a flip phone and another buys a new car about once every eight years. They understand the often stated, but rarely practiced principle of less is more. How many of you reading this right now still use a flip phone or wait eight years to buy a new car? I’m guessing I can count all of you on one of my hands without using all of my fingers.
Meanwhile, I know a few centimillionaires who are miserable and obsessed with becoming billionaires because they are convinced they will be happy then. Some of these people had the same thought about becoming a millionaire or decamillionaires. Unfortunately, many people never learn from their mistakes and put forth the effort to change paths.
One friend of mine who did change paths many years ago has few regrets. He ‘hit it big’ with fame and fortune at an early age, then got fed up with taking care of his Porsche and Jet ski’s and all the other toys he amassed. He said it drained him of his formerly peaceful nights of sleep as he was always worried about some toy that needed attention. He then simplified his life and became much happier away from the limelight and all the trappings of success.
The bottom line is, wanting shiny things is a lot like chasing rainbows and rarely leads to happiness and fulfillment. However, happiness and fulfillment are within everyone’s reach if you stay focused on the process and the doing, rather than on all the shiny things you desire. As a friend of mine likes to say: “Put all your wants in one hand and cow manure in the other and see which one fills up first.”
Follow Sam on Twitter @SuperTaoInc
