We tend to think making the world a better place requires doing something big.
It doesn’t.
In fact, I think some of our best opportunities to positively impact other people are so small that we walk right past them.
Literally.
Whenever I’m out in public, I make it a point to smile and acknowledge anyone brave enough to make eye contact with me… and sometimes even those who aren’t.
My wife and I have seen something interesting happen over the years while walking our dog. We regularly passed people who initially seemed
determined not to make eye contact with us. We’d say hello anyway.
Eventually, some started saying hello back.
Then they started greeting us first.
A few ultimately became friends.
Nothing profound happened. Nobody gave an inspirational speech. We simply acknowledged each other enough times that strangers stopped
being strangers.
And that makes me wonder how many potential connections we miss every day because we’re staring at a phone, wearing earbuds, rushing
somewhere, or simply trying not to engage.
Ironically, we might even be listening to a podcast about how to become a better person while completely ignoring the person walking right past us.
Humans naturally crave connection, yet we’ve become remarkably good at avoiding it.
Instead of automatically thinking “Stranger Danger,” what if we occasionally thought “Potential Friend?”
Some people look mean or unapproachable, and some probably are. But I’ve found that many are simply craving acknowledgment.
Sometimes they just need to know someone sees them.
And recently, a man named Enzo reminded me just how much that can matter.
My Conversation With Enzo
I was dealing with a frustrating shipping and billing problem and had already gone through several people on the phone trying to resolve it.
Eventually, I was connected with Enzo in the Philippines.
Immediately, I could tell he was different.
He was competent, patient, and most importantly, genuinely interested in helping me.
We spent nearly an hour on the phone while he tried different things to figure out what was causing the problem.
At one point, he thought he’d solved it. He was close, but there was still a variable he hadn’t accounted for.
Eventually, he realized there was nothing more he could do.
He apologized.
I thanked him.
I’d been thanking him throughout the call because I appreciated how hard he was working on my behalf.
Then he said something that floored me:
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
I told him, “Because I appreciate your efforts.”
“But I did not solve your problem,” he replied.
I told him that I could tell he’d done everything he could with the tools available to him. It wouldn’t be fair for me to expect him to topple a
large tree with his bare hands.
That’s when he broke down.
He told me people yell at him all day long… even when he does solve their problems.
Think about that for a second…
Here was a guy thousands of miles away, doing his best to help strangers all day, and simple kindness had become so unusual that he felt
compelled to ask me why I was being nice to him.
Our conversation became personal.
I learned that Enzo is also a boxer and that boxing is his dream. I encouraged him to keep pursuing it and thanked him again for
everything he’d done.
And something interesting happened.
I forgot about how annoying my original problem was.
I forgot about all the time I’d spent on the phone.
I forgot about the dinner that had gotten cold while I was dealing with it.
Instead, I found myself thinking about Enzo and what a great guy he seemed to be while working in what could sometimes be a pretty
adverse environment.
The problem hadn’t been solved.
But somehow, the experience had become valuable.
Look Up
That’s the part I think we miss.
We’re so focused on getting where we’re going, solving our problems, and getting through our day that we don’t notice how many opportunities for connection are sitting right in front of us.
You don’t have to start a charity, donate a million dollars, or change thousands of lives to make the world better.
Sometimes you just have to look up from your phone.
Smile.
Say hello.
Thank somebody.
Ask a question.
Or treat a person who’s accustomed to being yelled at like a human being.
“You don’t have to change the world today. Just make someone’s world a little better.” — Sam Obitz
I often change the names of people I write about, but I didn’t change Enzo’s.
I hope that somehow, someday, he sees this.
And if he does, I hope he reaches out and lets me know how he’s doing.
And Enzo, if you’re reading this… I hope you’re still boxing.
You can follow Sam on Instagram: @sam_obitz and on
X: @SuperTaoInc
My new book, The Tao of Progress, is available here.
