If you are familiar with my work you already know I am not a fan of victimhood. As I tell my clients it is a lot quicker to go from failure to success, than it is to go from excuses to success.

We are all victims in some way in our lives, and if you put your energy there, that’s where you will remain. In my experience, the people who put their focus on what makes them a victim tend to spiral down. Meanwhile, those who give their attention to their strengths and opportunities tend to flourish.

People naturally gravitate toward where their attention goes. If a person puts their focus on getting good grades, they will likely get better grades. If a person puts their attention on learning a new skill or craft, they will likely get better at that skill or craft.

Likewise, if a person decides to pay attention to why they cannot get better grades or why they can’t learn a new craft etc. they will likely continue to get poor grades or never learn that new craft.

Therein lies why today’s obsession with victimhood is so destructive to the victims. We tend to manifest in our lives whatever we end up focusing on, and if our focus is on what is negative, it holds us back, and we end up feeling sad and down most of the time. If we instead focus on what’s positive in our lives, we move forward and tend to feel more content and confident.

The nature of life is that there will always be things that happen which are out of our control, and if we spend our time and energy worrying about those things, we will be unable to enjoy the things within our control.

The legendary coach John Wooden once told me a story about a man who was not happy with where he lived. One day the man decided to start driving to see if he could find a better town to live in. After driving for sometime he stopped in a town to fill his car with gas and the station’s attendant asked the man where he was headed. The man replied, “I’m looking for a new town to live in.” The attendant then asked the man what kind of town he was looking for and the man replied, “I want to live in a town where people are friendly, supportive and help each other out.” The attendant proudly stated, “we have a lot of those people right here in this town!” As the man grew excited by that answer, the attendant then asked the man, “what people are like where you currently live?” The man replied, “they are rude, uncaring and never help anyone out.” The attendant looked the man in the eye and said, “well we have a lot of those people right here too!”

The moral of the story being, bad people and bad things are everywhere and so are good people and good things. You have a choice on where to put your focus, and a majority of the unhappy or less successful people I see, have simply made the less optimal choice.

Change your life for the better today by focusing on what you can control, and the opportunities doing this presents to you. You may be shocked to see that this is what you needed to be happier and more successful all along.

You can follow Sam on Twitter @SuperTaoInc

Posted in The Mind Side Blog