Do You Have a Victor or Victim Mindset?
One of these mindsets is associated with growth and contentment and the other is usually linked to underachievement and dissatisfaction. I’m guessing that most of you, after reading that last sentence, have a good idea which one is associated with which. A majority of people think they have a Victor mindset, but many of them are wrong.
A lot of people are surprised when they are told that they possess a Victim mindset and are unaware of the many effects it has on who they are and what they become. They tend to live their life reacting (and often overreacting) to whatever obstacle appears in front of them at the time. Sadly, they do not realize there are alternatives (or have not ever bothered to explore them) and instead choose to stick with the comfort of their bad thinking habits.
People with a Victim mindset are also unaware of the many ways their mindset affects those around them. They spend an inordinate amount of time complaining about all the misfortune they suffer, rather than looking for ways to prevent or overcome their problems. This wears on people over time and makes lasting relationships hard for them to come by.
They are also oblivious to the many opportunities that pass them by because no one wants to stick their neck out for them because they know it could reflect poorly on them down the road. A Victim mindset perceives all of their problems coming from outside forces and have no idea they are their own worst enemy.
A Victor mindset is the opposite in nearly every way. Rather than waiting for things to happen, they take life by the proverbial horns and almost will things into being the way they want them to be. They understand that setbacks happen and tend to take them in stride. They take responsibility for all that befalls them and are their own best friend.
A Victor mindset is guided by the quality of their decision making rather than the results of their decisions. They understand that probabilities are in their favor, even when things go against them, as long as their decision making is sound.
Let me use an example from American football… If the defense of the opposing team has been over-pursuing on every play (moving aggressively in the direction the play seems to be going), a good counter measure to that is running what is called a reverse (a play which starts going in one direction and suddenly reverses back the other way). In this scenario let’s say the probability for success of running a reverse is 85%. You run the reverse and not only lose yardage, but also turn the ball over to the opposing team.
A person with a Victim mindset would immediately second guess their decision to run that “disastrous” play and bemoan their bad luck. They would also likely be afraid to make the same call under similar circumstances in the future.
A person with a Victor mindset on the other hand, would understand that their decision to run that play was merited, but did not go as planned. Then they would prepare to run it again at their next opportunity, as they understand that probability can lose out in the near term but always wins over time (think Casinos).
If we thought of our emotional energy like we think about money maybe that would help. Victims spend a ton of emotional energy (money) complaining about life’s unfairness, thus throwing good money after bad. Victors save that energy (money) so they can invest it wisely later on and receive an even bigger payoff.
Please take a hard look at yourself and try to objectively determine whether you have a Victor or Victim Mindset. Recognition of a problem is the first step to changing it, and I may write a future article on steps you can take to change your mindset from one of a Victim to one of a Victor.
“Definition of a victim: a person to whom life happens.” – Peter McWilliams
You can follow Sam on Twitter @SuperTaoInc
