I have built my business on the belief that “preparation isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” You see we all have control over how we prepare and therefore that is where we need to expend our energy if we want to become successful, regardless of our chosen field. Many people spend their time worrying about things they have no control over, be it their competitors, co-workers, boss or what will happen tomorrow or farther into the future. This is a trap that is easy to fall into, but you do not have to fall prey to it.

If you are able to stay focused on the things within your control, you will find that the benefits are endless. The reason most people fall into the trap of worrying about things they have no control over is because to do what I am suggesting causes the pain of self-discipline. As most of you already know life is full of pain and choices. I feel your choice between these two forms of pain will go a long way in determining not only how you experience life, but also many of the outcomes in your life.

Every person has a surprising degree of control over which and how much of these two pains they experience in their lives. Being prepared and focusing on what’s in front of you takes a large measure of self-discipline. Lack of self-discipline more often than not leads to regret. Many will read that and think, well if it’s going to cause me pain I may as well take my chances and skip the self-discipline and “hope” for the best, possibly missing out on any regrets.

Sadly “hope” is not an effective strategy for living your life or succeeding in your career and usually leads to regret. Imagine being at work and needing to stay an hour late to finish up your presentation, but you elect to go out to happy hour with your friends in “hope” that no one will ask questions about the part you failed to complete. The next morning you give your presentation and are unable to satisfactorily answer the client’s questions, causing you to lose the account and the bonus you were planning to use for that dream Hawaiian vacation your wife had been planning for over a year. Do you think you will have any regrets or that your wife will be mad and let you hear about it repeatedly for years?

These are the type of decisions that each of us has to make everyday and I believe they are not to be taken lightly. My first argument against the former approach would be that the pain of self-discipline is temporary and short in duration, while the pain of regret tends to be never ending and haunts you forever. My next argument would be that self-discipline when practiced regularly will become a habit, reducing the pain of it over time to almost no pain at all. Think of the act of brushing your teeth. When you were first told you had to brush your teeth before you went to bed it seemed like such a bother/pain for you to do, now I bet you do it without even thinking about it, just like I do, because it is a habit now.

My final argument in favor of choosing the pain of self-discipline, would be that few great accomplishments come without it, and the use of it builds your confidence, self-esteem and can give you a mental edge. People assume that the most successful people among us are more talented than we are and that their success is preordained. The truth is that talent is developed and self-discipline is a key ingredient in the process, along with exposure and deep practice. I tell all my clients that my definition of self-discipline is:  “Doing what you don’t want to do right now, so you get to do what you want to do when the lights are shining on you.”  You have to do all the little things if you ever hope to experience big things.

Some pains in life are unexpected and cannot be prepared for like the sudden loss of a loved one or some natural disasters. There are numerous pains in life, so why not limit a major one like regret by accepting the small amount of pain that comes with self-discipline? To me that is a bargain I can’t afford to pass up.

Posted in The Mind Side Blog